i know a way to - silently make you smile with my eyes - while you’re trying to fight

#hannah x ben    #secret diary of a call girl    #mystuff   
7 months ago with 19 notes
#hannah x ben    #secret diary of a call girl    #and i asked god WHYYYY    #mystuff    #The fandom unites with a single taste of bitterness.   
7 months ago with 27 notes

this is the last song I write while I’m still in love with you.

#hannah x ben    #Secret Diary of a Call Girl    #mystuff    #for some reason PS isn't responding to anything other than billie piper's face these days    #I WILL NOT SLEEP UNTIL I FINISH A PEPE REINA EDIT    #my purpose in this life is to get everyone in the world to watch SDOACG   
7 months ago with 57 notes

Ben: You will not lose me.

#I'm sorry, Ben, were you saying something? I couldn't hear you over the word BULLSHIT ringing in my head.    #hannah x ben    #secret diary of a call girl    #mystuff    #i like to take out my late-night frustrations with sdoacg grafixxx   
7 months ago with 78 notes

I am getting so sick & tired of waiting around to find out if it’s gonna be me.

#hannah x ben    #secret diary of a call girl    #mystuff    #when television feels real. seriously though i love that they don't end up together - obviously i was rooting for them all along and i wanted them both to be happy together but there's something so real about the fact that they're perfect for each other and yet things still don't work that i just love. i feel it. yaknow what i'm saaayiiin dawg lol it's late i need to sleep    #but i wont be sleeping i just took a break from hw to please myself with some sdoacg   
7 months ago with 94 notes

Ben: This is it, isn’t it? You’re not coming.
Hannah: I love you, Ben. You’re my best friend. I want you to have the best life. But it’s not with me. I can’t give you what you need and I can’t change who I am and I don’t want you to change who you are. You deserve so much better than that. You deserve the best.
Ben: You know this is the end, Hannah. Yeah? We can’t go back from this.

“Some choices we make for ourselves in life. And some we make for other people. Not because we don’t love them. But because we do. The only way we know it’s right is if it let’s us stay true to ourselves. But we can’t regret our choices. The past is behind us. All we have is the present and the future. Whatever that may bring.”

Secret Diary of A Call Girl: 4x08 - Giorno Del Giudizio

#Secret Diary of A Call Girl    #hannah x ben    #mystuff    #Fuck you show I wasn't supposed to even CARE so much about youuuuuuuahfkjf    #I think what upsets me the most is that they really can't go back from all that's happened. It's so upsetting. Especially since Hannah warned him in the beginning: He has other people to go to. Family and friends. She only has him. If they fuck it up she will be alone she won't have him. AND I RECALL a certain someone saying 'YOU'LL NEVER LOSE ME' ok ben O K why do i even love you so much you stupid arthur darvill look alike pansy ass    #4 seasons of literally the most beautiful friendship/relationship/whatever and it all ends    #but you know what    #I don't think I would have been ok with her giving up her career for Ben    #it's a part of who she is i think it would have been worse had she gone to him and said 'ok ben i won't be a prostitute any longer i'm going to marry you and we'll have lots of children' because it's not what she wants    #but it's also so sad because all he's ever wanted was to be with her. it's like he said in the last episode 'i've always loved her' and he finally has her and it's just AWFUL because he thought he could handle it. but then again he can handle it - the job i mean. but he can't handle hannah's secrets and it just    #i hate feelings    #i hate tv shows    #i feel more things when i watch tv than i feel in an entire week at school    #dear tv show: i wasn't even supposed to care so much. but then you lured me in with your perfect script and your pretty fucking cinematography and your stupid actors who just ruin my life every day. thanks a lot.    #I loved this series. Even series 4 I just loved all of it. I'm going to miss Hannah/Belle quite a bit actually.   
7 months ago with 86 notes
#Secret Diary of A Call Girl    #hannah x ben    #you guys weren't joking    #can i just tho    #CAN I JUST    #WHO THE FUCK IS POPPY    #why is poopy i mean poppy even THERE    #and i'm sitting here watching the poppy ben scene and im like i s2g if that bitch puts a finger on ben and OF COURSE she puts more than a finger and i'm just    #ok i'll climb through my computer screen and toss her into the freeway    #mystuff   
7 months ago with 35 notes